I know what you are thinking.
I’m attempting the impossible, and I shall surely fail.
It’s okay; I know it. I know that Facebook has a grip on my life that I don’t even really understand, and that’s why I’ve decided to leave. Let me be clear with this: I, in no way, think that this is something EVERYONE should do. I’m not declaring Facebook as the evil internet giant that everyone must escape from or surely perish. But, for me, it has become an idol in my life. It’s something that I must let go based on my own convictions and experiences in my life. I’ll take you on the journey as to how I got to this point. Pop some popcorn and settle in.
I joined Facebook in 2006, shortly after Jackson was born. I had made the transfer from MySpace, and was riding high on how awesome it was to reconnect with old friends and see what everyone was up to. Really, though, I should say how much I liked everyone being connected to me.
I’m not exactly sure when the shift happened. All that I know is that, now, when something happens in my life, my first thought is, “That would be a great status update!”. Ridiculous, right? Instead of just enjoying whatever moment it is, whether it be staring at the lot of my about to built home, or listening to the funny dialogue that escapes my children’s mouth…I’m thinking about Facebook. I’m thinking about how many people might like the picture, or comment on the status, etc. That just doesn’t seem right to me. It seems prideful. It seems full of gloat and pomp. It seems like something I should flee from rather than run to. That’s not the person I want to be perceived as or want to even be. Once, a dear friend said, “Facebook is the highlight reel of people’s lives. No one posts the bad stuff, but we compare ourselves to the good stuff of others.” I’m a mom. I stay at home. I homeschool. I compare myself every single day to those around me. But, I’m using people’s “highlight reels” to compare my own life to. Or, people are using my highlight reel to compare their lives against. Yes, I bake. I homeschool. I’m a generously awesome person with mad skills…but so are YOU. My house is a giant mess all the time; you don’t see me scurrying to clean the background of my living room to take a picture of the kids. You don’t see the meltdowns and anxiety of making glitter seahorses. You don’t see the enormous mess of the kitchen after the mango scones. I’m tired of being perceived as a mom who has it all together; I’m mostly a mess and I want to stand beside you in that. ‘Cause we all are.
Also, communication. While I’ve thought that Facebook has brought me closer to people, I’m beginning to realize that “more friends I talk to” doesn’t mean “more friends I’m closer to”. Facebook has turned into an ocean of inch deep relationships. I would rather have a puddle of mile high relationships. I want to get back to phone calls (remember those?) rather than wall posts. I want to spend more time hearing you rather than trying to perceive what is meant over a computer screen.
So, instead of Facebook, come here. Here is where I will still keep you updated on our life. The blog is my log of our past, and I’m keeping it. It’s become the book of my children, and I’ve neglected it to instead make status updates about them that are gone as soon as they hit the bottom of the page. Instead, I will document their lives for my keepsake, not my glory. You can communicate through comments here or emails or phone calls if you need anything. So, if you are interested in what we are doing, make sure to bookmark this site, because I can no longer link it to Facebook when I do a new post.
So, I can’t delete my account; Facebook won’t let me. I’m deactivating it, and I actually like that. I like being able to hop on if I need to in order to get a phone number or something like that. I don’t know if this is a permanent break or temporary.
*sigh*. Off to do the impossible. It feels good.
Love your heart! I couldn’t agree more with all you said in this post! I commend you for “doing the impossible”! You can do it and will be better off for it! I always say… if my business didn’t completely thrive and run off of FB, I would be gone! It’s just not where I am at in my life at this time. But I am sure the time will come! I am sure your house will be cleaner, your heart will be more joyful and time will be better spent being that amazing mom that we know you are! Enjoy it! And if you come back, we will all relish in your funny statuses once again… but until then… or not… I will follow your blog! xoxo
Oh man! We’ll miss you!!! And I’m sure you’ll get texts from me when I need your expert advice. Like, a lot of the time. : )
You can do it! I’ve been considering this and Travis deleted his a few weeks ago.
well said, becki!
Becky! What a great decision. I’ll be watching your blog! : )
i go into hiding every now and then, shutting off my notifications, my wall, even blocking others status’ so i’m not able to avoid all the noise. i enjoy the quiet, the non-beeping of my phone. even now i’d rather post on here than on your fb cause i don’t want all the beeping coming in from other posts! lol. i’ve also deleted a LOT of people this year, some because they talk and i don’t want navy stuff shared, others i don’t talk to much and they have too many friends on their page to even be able to know what’s going on with me. some i just text more than chat on fb with! even some that i felt like i had on there just to be in the know of what was going on with them, despite not being able to talk to anymore due to everyday life. i use to always NEED to know what was going on with people cause i felt like i was being a bad friend if i didn’t keep up with their ups and downs. i’ve learned to not worry so much about that, to move on and just focus on my life here. it’s been nice to de-clutter my fb. anymore i use fb to post pics or updates for justin to be able to share in the moments that he’s missing with the kids. i’m not trying to get you to stay on fb, but i just want you to know that i have felt closer to you this last yr, even though we’re states away. over the span of 13 yrs that i’ve known you, i’ve gone from loathing, to respect, to admiration, thankfulness for your friendship. i’m pretty stubborn, so it took a while. 🙂 i really got to know you via your first blog, and am grateful to still “hear” your voice on here. i look forward to hearing about the many changes in your life over the next several months and watching the kids grow!! thank you for your kindness, your thoughtful words of wisdom, and for letting me be a part of your life!
I think you’re going back to Little House on the Prairie! But, I love that. You know me, I’d much rather use email, so no FB thrills me only because I don’t know how to use it as well as the younger generation! I mean, I have soooo many things on my FB and have no idea how to delete! As you know, I love the phone calls. However, I must make a point that you almost never answer the phone. So, that will be a new task…..or at least call back the messages when the kids are asleep or something. NOTHING should stop the wonderful time you spend with your children, and when they graduate from HS, I want a copy of the blog! Love to you all!
You all are too sweet. 🙂 Luckily for me, I don’t have businesses to run or family to stay connected to through Facebook, which makes it a lot easier to disconnect. My family comes here or through email, which I’m thankful for!
I may be back, but my short term goal is until at least the first of the year. 🙂
I guess I’m following your blog now 😉
I’m so proud of you in many ways…but here comes my selfishness…I’m so sad!!! This means that you really do have to call, text, email me!!! I loved seeing your pictures of your kids especially since I can’t see them in person…so you better post a lot of them! …you know this comment is all centered around me…facebook aftermath you know. No, really I am VERY proud of you. I know you won’t regret it…as long as you stay in contact with me 🙂